Tonight was a very good night. The whole day was pretty good actually. I woke up earlier than usual and I cleaned the house (which needed to be done anyway) and got ready for my house-warming party. I got everything set up right on time. Mike (one of Jefferson's friends who gave me his email address- and who I invited to my party before the guys did) got there first. He had rsvp'ed right away, got directions easily, checked the directions before the party so he could prepare, got there on time, and brought board games! I was so impressed by that! Very few people have shown up for anything I do, let alone of time! I was so happy about that. I was a bit worried about everyone else showing up. A few people didn't get back to me, some said they could come but never got directions. I freaked out before Mike came and called my brother to come over and eat some pizza. I talked to Mike for a while before my brother came. My brother was acting really weird and I'm kind of worried about him, as usual. When Dudley came, my brother left. Jefferson came soon after. Cameo, Jason, and Jeremy came around 9pm. We all ate pizza and stood around talking. It was really nice. I was hoping for a fun, tame, non-alcohol party- basically just having friends over and everyone having fun and hanging out. I think it went well. Everyone got along well. I know I had fun. Dudley and I walked Mike out to his car. Jefferson's car was in the way, but he left his door unlocked, so we put it in neutral and pushed it across the street, lol. It was so funny! Everyone left a little before 1am. I said good bye to everyone (except for Jefferson who was in a hurry to get his car back, lol.). Once everyone left I talked to Mike a while longer. He's a really sweet boy. I had a lot of fun talking to him today. He asked me questions and said things that showed he really pays attention and cares about other people. I was impressed how he was able to show up at the party by himself and hang out with mostly new people and be a sport about it all. He is very cute too, lol. I started thinking about how right now, all I really want is a sweet guy who's relatively reliable (won't forget about me), who isn't just out for sex, who might want to hang out (watch movies, cuddle, walks, whatever). Mike started talking about how much he loves to cuddle, lol. I thought it was very cute. It really made me want to cuddle with him, lol. I realized that I wasn't totally running away from him. I usually get way more freaked out by anyone I have a crush on or who has a crush on me. I usually get very distant, don't want to give any signs of affection, I won't let them know I want to hang out, and I usually try to get away from them as soon as possible. I didn't really do that with Mike. I did get nervous and didn't give him a hug (which I tihnk he was wanting) :-) But hugging is a big thing and it's still a big thing that I didn't feel like running away. I even suggested that he should call me if he ever wants to hang out :-) He said, "quite possibly, possibly". I think that's a good thing, I don't know if he'll calls me, but I actually do hope he calls me. I felt all gitty when I went back in the house. I haven't felt that way about a guy in a really long time. I would still say it's only a little crush though. I've been sad lately (as in the last year) because I was wondering what it would take for me to not freak out about liking someone or being liked and wondering when I'd get to feel gitty because of someone again. I don't know if it's happend yet. You never know if I might get scared of him eventually. I think I've just been getting scared of guys that weren't quite right for me though. Last year Garret, Phoenix, Mathew, Nick, Andrew, Niki, Lier Mike, and a few other guys- I would feel like running away from, but I don't think it would have worked out between us anyway and a few of them were good people to run away from. There were only two people last year that I truely didn't run away from and actaully gave them a chance. Looking back on it- they were relatively decent guys. I think that shows that if there is a truely nice guy, without a lot of obvious flaws, who has qualities I really want in a guy- then I will give them a chance and be able to open up and let them know that I like them. I think I really do want to date and eventually have a relationship, I just don't want to deal with certain bad qualities in people any more. I don't want to put my heart out there to someone who I don't see a deeper level to. I want to know that they're good people with good intintions who I can see myself admiring and wanting to hang out with. I've known guys who had all those qualities, but we didn't have enough in common, and/or the timing wasn't right. If Jason- or anyone Jason know's who's reading this- I do realized that I totally freaked out and ran away from him freshman year- and it's absolutely not because I think he's a bad guy. I think he's a really great guy with good qualities, I just don't know how much we would have had in common and I freaked out because I didn't see long-term potential between us as anything more than friends. He'd probably think I was just some crazy liberal, coffee shop, whatever chick, after a while anyway, lol. So, I hope there's no hard feelings there. I know I was a total B*tch for treating him the way I did.
So- in closing, lol. It was a good night, glad that it all worked out, had fun, got to see everyone :-), and realized that I might not totally freak out around every guy I have even the slightest crush on, and I got that gitty/happy/crush feeling again.

Ya for quizes!

BASICS:
name: Lisa
age: 20
sex/gender (there is a difference): female, female
height: 5'9
weight: 165, I think, I haven't weighted myself in a long time
Siblings: Andy (older brother)
Pets: dog, named Marley


FAVORITES:
favorite color: green
favorite animal: panda bear
favorite movie: currently- Garden State
favorite band: O.A.R.
favorite singer: Ani Difranco
favorite song: Shameless
favorite season: Autumn
favorite actor: Johnny Depp
favorite actress: Angelina Jolie
favorite dirrector: M. Night Shamalon
favorite drink: cherry coke, hot chocolate, strawberry milk shake
favorite veggy: green beans
favorite fruit: raspberries
favorite meat: salmon sushi
favorite dairy product: chocolate ice cream
favorite bread: apple or blueberry muffins
favorite holiday: Halloween
favorite food: Illegal Pete's burritos

LOVE/SEXY (hee hee) and friends:
Are you in a relationship: no
Are you currently dating anyone: not really, I wouldn't really call it dating.
Do you have any crushes: a couple/few that I've had for a long time, but other than that no
How many people have you slept with: two
When's the last time you got some: about 8 months ago
When was your last kiss: about 6 months ago
When was your last hug: about a week ago maybe
Who was the last person you kissed: Chris
Who was the last person you hugged: my boss(not in a creepy way), lol, ah, that's sad
How old were you when you had your first kiss and with who: 18
How old were you when you lost your viginity: 18, with Joel
Last person you called: Jefferson
Last person you chatted with: Vince
Last person you hung out with: Jefferson

If you could have/do anything:
who would you talk to right now: Alix Olson
who would you kiss: hee hee, I don't want to say :-)
who would you hug: same
who would you like to hang out with right now: Jeff Buckley
who would you cuddle with: Jonny Depp
who would you sleep with: Ani Difranco
what would you eat: chocolate cookie dough blizzard with choclate ice cream
where would you be: cambodian temples

Wow, I just realized how traditionally girly I've become, lol. I woke up this morning, got ready, cleaned my room, baked home-made muffins, did dishes, picked flowers- then I went to watch tv. I realized that we recorded Oprah, a few family comedies, a lot of shows about babies and child rearing, and puppies. The only show we had on there that wasn't totally house-wife was a show I record because I think the guy in it is really hot, lol. (And because it's funny and makes me want to be tought like them- so it's not totally girly). I think I'm going to go bake cookies or do some sewing now, lol.

If I won a really huge lottery, I would:
1. Buy a small RV so I could travel around the country durring the summer
2. Pay off my brother's debt
3. Send my parents on a vacation
4. Send my self and friends on a vacation
5. I'd have a shopping spree at Target, Hobby Lobby, bookstores, and Feminist stores, lesbian stores, and pagan stores.
6. I'd buy Raul a house, make a college fund for his kids, and give him cash for whatever else he wants, and I'd buy a house for the people he's living with now.
7. College fund for Matt's kids, my cousins, my cousins' kids, and who ever else wants it. A scholarship fund would be cool too.
8. I'd buy really great pots, pans, dishwear, bed sheets, new clothing, tons of plants, new movies, new music, good groceries, etc.
9. I'd go out to eat a whole lot more, go to more movies, I'd travel more, I'd be living somewhere cooler- like San Fran. Actually- I'd have a summer home in Vermont or Colorado and a winter home in New Mexico or California. I'd have a few homes in other countries too.
10. I'd buy my friends some gifts. Examples-
Bob- awesome Afrian drum set with a bunch of other exotic instruments
Vince- all the computer stuff you want, new car, college money, plane trip here :-)
Kevin- All the Movies, Movie-making equipment, and bouncy balls you want.
Sean- Mountain Dew and sandwiches for life! More movies, computer stuff, and a trip for you and your brother to where ever you guys want to go.
Joel- Trip to Japan, new guitar
Kate- All the photography, snowboarding things you want
Zefer- More fabric then you'd know what to do with
Big D- Toys for Marley, trip to Russia and Brazil
Jefferson, Phoenix, Cameo, Jason, Mel, Jesse, Jessie, Zach, Chelsea, Jacob, Justin, Eric, Colby, and everone else- I'm not sure what you want- but if I win the lottery- you can tell me what you want, lol
To Annie's dogs- Better medical care, the best food, toys, and a doggy-sitter
To my dog- Toys shopping spree, the best healthy food, dog water fountain, and a doggy pool (I think that's all he'd want)
11. I'd start my own charity service and social work organizations that I'd be the boss of :-)
12. All the rest in savings

Today was a good day. I woke up groggy because I woke up a few times by my roommate being noisy. I ended up falling back asleep and waking up around 1. I had coffee, watched Sorority Boys (I love that movie so much!), ate an omlete, called a friend, and went to work. Work was fun. I love that job. I made $9 in tips! Ya! The chef Alix kept hitting on me, lol. He kept saying "hey bonita" and kept saying he loved me. I laughed at him and shook my head, it was more flattering than creepy today, lol. After work I got my dad egg roles for Father's Day. I ate dinner at there house, then had ice cream with Jefferson. We went to a park where you can see the prarie and downtown and where we could watch the lightning. The clouds were so beautiful today! I drove around and sang in my car for a while before going home around 1am. So, overall, it was a pretty good day.
Today- Not so heart broken, hopeful, not very lonely, a little bored, happy, less angry, still jaded, excited about future.
One week ago today- I can't remember
One month ago today- I can't remember
two months ago today- bad drama with friend, heart broken (new situation, same person), angry, hadn't slept in a day or so
six months ago today- bad drama with friend, heart broke (new situation, same person), angry, just got back from Winter vacation
one year ago today- Sean and I broke up, confused/sad/relieved, heart broken, living with parents, tons of stress
two years ago- Getting ready for college, stressed about living with parents

Ahhh! I was feeling all sad and lonely last night and bitter and angry, mostly bitter and sad though. I slept in this morning, made some oatmeal, watched tv, made a burrito, read outside, did stuff on the computer, made myself some veggies and noodles for dinner. Basically it was a boring day and I was just waiting for the night to come. The cute guy never called me (I'm pretty sure now that he won't be calling me again. :-( My friends who had made hypothetical plans for tonight didn't call me, so I decided to see what my friend in Boulder was doing. He wanted me to go there and we could have our first date. But then he decided that he was too tired to hang out. This is the guy that told me I wasn't crazy enough because I had to wake up early the next day! I respect the fact that he's sleepy, he should respect the fact that I'm busy 2 days out of the week! I was mad about him not being understanding especially after I thought about the fact that it is easy to tell someone it's ok and not make them feel bad about it. I really wanted to go out, see people. I was all ready to go before he said he was tired. I've been lonely, pissed off, and sad lately- but I still was still respectful of his needs/wants. I'm not going to take it out on him or try to manipulate him. This is starting to piss me off. I'm tired of people constantly cancelling dates with me. They act like they want to see me, but then they don't actually take the time to see me, then when I'm busy- they have a hissy fit about it! The guy from last week talked to me today and wanted me to go swimming with him- so apparently he still wants to see me. (which I didn't want to, because he's being creepy and I don't want to get stood up again and I'm not going to be half naked with a guy I barely know). I'm getting tired of being bored. If I'm going to be bored, lonely, and angry- I should put that energy into more constructive avenues than laying in bed listening to pissed off music when I'm trying to sleep. I don't want to sound totally pissed about everything. I was having an ok day today. I was just feeling lonely and decided to put aside my bitterness and lack of trust in people to actually be able to see someone. It was just a very sad way for it to end. I decide to put myself out there in a tiny way, to be stood up again. I've had five guys interested in dating me in the last 3 months, and they have all stood me up more than once! I told myself to not give up on dating this summer, like I did last summer and most of last year, but really, this is getting depressing.

Yesterday was so fun! It was Jason's surprise birthday party. There were some really cool people there and it was a lot of fun. Your grandma is really cool Cameo! When the adults left, we played twister and some drinking games (I had soda). It was so much fun! The party ended around 3am. I'd have to say it was in the top three most fun parties of the year, if not the most fun.
Work was awesome today! We had a huge group (over 60 people) come in to eat. It was my boss' son's youth group party. My job was to refill the soda pitchers- which actually was a non-stop job for most of the night. I love to see the restaurant work in such a harmonious way. Everyone knows what to do mostly, no one is stressing too much, but it's still exciting, everyone helping each other out with each other's work, with the common of just getting everything done. Everyone trusts each other to do there job well, and everything goes great. I got to talk to Lindsay most of the night. She happened to mention to me that there was a 19 year old guy who was hitting on her and her 16 year old friends and that she thought it was creepy. Although I think it was more the guy than the age, because 19 and 16 aren't that bad. It made me think about whether I should try hitting on Trevor (the 17 year old guy at work) though. That's the same age difference. He is a boy though. Although they usually say that women usually go better with older men, because women mature faster usually. Who knows. I think I might flirt with him and see how he responds. I think he thinks of me as 'that college chick that works there' and not a potential crush- but maybe he just doesn't expect a girl to like someone that much younger. The other 17 year old treats me like I'm an adult, lol, although he's kind of shy around everyone. I was sooo happy at the end of the night. My boss told me that I could pack up a big box of left-overs from the night and take them home! I realized that I have a 'free food happy dance', lol. I danced around the table as I filled the box. I really wanted to stay at work and continue working and talking to everyone, but I had to clock out and leave :-( I was so happy about the food and having an awesome night. I wanted to drive to Jeff, Vince, Kevin, Zach, Jacob, Justin, Joel, Sean, Jason, the other Jeff, or one of there house, but everyone was too far away. I went to my parents house to see my dog and pick up a fork to maybe have a little picnic somewhere. I realized it was getting dark and I didn't want to eat alone, so I stayed to keep the dog company. I talked to my parents when they got home. The were in a really good mood too. I went home around 10:30pm. I had a call from Jefferson and his friends. Hopefully I’ll get to hang out with he and his friends tonight.

Wednesday was fun. I hung out with Jefferson and four of his guy friends. They are hilarious! We went to Kings and got some juice/soda and hung out. It was a lot of fun. One of his friends is really cute and I happen to get his email address, lol. I don't think he gave it to me out of interest, but who knows what I'll do with it, lol. He's Mormon, which isn't a bad thing, but he might not be wanting to date a non-Mormon, but who knows. (Vince from your experience- do you know if most Mormon only want to date Mormons?) I also had my first non-college slumber party, with cookies and all. I went to bed early on Thursday and didn't do much that day. Today I hung out and worked on my new crafts business. I went to work early, which was awesome. One of the guys at work told me that his friend Jeff (who I use to work with and had a huge crush on) said hi to me. That was so awesome! It means that 1. Ian must have mentioned me for Jeff to know that I'm working there now 2. it means that Jeff says hi! He said that Jeff said he would come in to visit sometime! I've been wanting to see him for over a year now! That would be so cool! I know he knows I had/have a crush on him since I told Ian that I did, lol. (the next day he said that Jeff said hi that time, which was funny and cute). He's been my biggest real-life fantasy guy and social idol for years now. I'd love to see him, smoke a bit, and possibly make out with him :-) (to be honest).

I woke up late this morning (around 1pm, lol) I didn't get out of bed until almost 2pm. I drank coffee and watch Dharma and Greg. I decided to start working on some sort of business I can do while traveling in my car. :-) I felt really lazy today though and didn't get around to doing much work. My roommate came home and yelled at the dogs for crying. It's the saddest and most annoying thing. It's sad to hear them cry and annoying and sad that she yells at them for it! I decided to go for a drive. I drove through Morrison but decided to keep driving. I found Evergreen, a few other places, and conifer. Those are really pretty towns. I found a few places that would be fun to hike and camp at. I found some cool coffee shops and beautiful lakes I've never seen before too. I'll definitely have to go back there sometime. I decided to go the library for a couple hours to get away. I found some cool travel books and a book of Eleanor Roosevelt's writings. I called the guy I was suppose to go out with tonight but he said that he was too sleepy to hang out. (it was about 8:30pm when I called him). I'm getting way to use to that. That's how all of my potential dates have been for the last three months. The last four guys I was suppose to go out with kept bailing on me last minute. I've gotten use to going to things alone or planning things in a way that I won't be too disappointed if they cancel (which I'm starting to expect them to do). I don't know why they keep doing that. It's a definite theme that I don't think I'm necessarily doing anything to encourage. Maybe it's the fact that I try to make it casual, and maybe they can sense that I don't actually think that they'll show.

I realize that most my blog entries have been mostly about boys. I just figure that it's more interesting to write or read about boys then how great the peanutbutter apple I just ate was, how I bought muffins at the grocery store, how cool Dog the Bounty Hunter show was today, or what's going on in my Sims game. I usually end up writing about guys because I find that to be one of the more confusing things that I'm either wanting advice on or just wanting to write about trying to figure it out. By the way- Dog the Bounty Hunter rocks! And my Sim character just died, but her family is still doing well, lol.

I don't know how to meet nice guys outside of school yet. Here are the guys/girls I've met so far:
1. Colin- seems nice, met him when looking for apartments.
2. Michael- 17 year old, couldn't care less that I was there. Met at work
3. Trevor- cute 17 year old, but is 17. Met at work
4. Luise- Older guy, met at work, I'm completely not attracted to what-so-ever
5. Nelson- Guy at work, only speaks spanish, seems like trouble
6. Nick- lives in Boulder, kind of desparate, don't know if I'm atracted to him or not
7. Andy- mildly creepy, asks way too many personal questions
8. Kyle- jerk a lot of the time, doesn't like me and vise versa
9. Linsay- cute, nice, but straight
10. roommates brother- forgot his name, he lives out of town, and he's my roommates brother.
11. Cute guys at grocery store that I blush around and haven't had the nerve to talk to yet, lol.

Today was fairly decent. I slept in until 11am. I played Sims a lot this morning and listened to music. I went for a really long drive, but couldn't decide where I wanted to go, lol. My roommate was gone when I got home (ya!) so I stayed home and watched the shows I've tivoed. Colin called me, but told me that he was going to be busy all day and couldn't hang out. He said that he wanted to hang out sometime still. That's good. I was kind of sad that he couldn't hang out today. I was almost lonely again. I talked to this guy I know in Boulder. He asked if I wanted to go to Boulder to go out with him tonight. He was being really pushy though when I told him I wanted to go to sleep early. He told me I wasn’t being 'crazy' enough. I hate when guys try to make me feel bad so I'll do what they want. I appreciate guys that let me be busy and do what I want so much more now. I don't think it's so much to ask people to respect things that I wouldn't even think to ask them to give up for me. I think the one thing worse than not letting it go when I can't hang out- is when they try to make me feel bad about myself for not hanging out! Like telling me that I'm not spontaneous or fun if I don’t stay up all night when I have to work early in the morning. I'm glad that I'm getting better at seeing through that crap now.

Work last night rocked! The new girl I work with his incredibly sweet, funny, nice, and some what mature for high school. The one delivery driver is a cool kind of hippy guy, I used to work with (also friends with the other awesome people who use to work there- I might try to see if we all can hang out some time). The other delivery boy is Kyle. I was happy at first to think that he might be more mature and less mean this year, but I don't know if that's true. He started off nice but said some mean stuff to me toward the end. I'll try to not take him too seriously. There was a new chef at work. He looks like he's in his late twenties/early thirties- which is really young for being a chef there. He's very mysterious. He looks like John Leguiamo kind of- but less clean cut, lol. He has a nice body and style but kind of a scary, bad boy attitude. He was mad that I didn't speak Spanish, but then kept smiling at me and flirting later on. I was flattered and it made me laugh, he seems like trouble though. Ken asked me if I would work tonight. I told him that I might have plans but that he should call me if he wants me to come in. I'm hoping that Colin will call me tonight. I told him on the phone that I was free on Tues, Wed, or Saturday if he wanted to hang out. He hasn't called me yet, but he does work during the week and probably wouldn't have been able to hang out until today. I'm not going to call him if he doesn't call me today. I'll also tell Ken I can work if he calls me before Colin. I'm starting to learn to prioritize extra work hours and other things over boys. It sucked before when I wasn't getting my school work or club work done because I was prioritizing boys ahead of it. Last semester I got almost straight A's (when I was less distracted by boys), but I got a 2.2 when I was distracted by boyfriends. It's not their fault though, it's mine for not planning my time better and making myself follow it.

So, I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life, my future, work now, work in the future, family stuff, meaning of life, lifestyle stuff, blah blah blah. I've spent most of the last two days watching tv alone, watch tv with my brother, watching tv with my roommate. When I'm not doing that I'm thinking about what to eat, eating, or doing dishes. Other than that I work only two days a week, read some, play computer games, listen to talk radio, etc. I realized today that I'm really bored, being unproductive in every sense, feeling restless and unsatisfied, and getting kind of lonely. I haven't really felt lonely much this summer, which is really surprising. Last year at this time I was much much lonelier. I think I need to get out of the house more and talk to strangers more, lol. I've been really shy and self-conscious about going to coffee shops, hiking stuff, or anything else alone. I thought I did a lot of things alone last summer that I wasn't use to doing alone (movies, eating out, shopping, short road trips, etc.) but I realized that there are still a lot of things that I want to do and not many people to do them with. Most my friends live really far away and it would be a hassle if I ask them to meet me 45 minutes away to get some coffee. I don't know. I think I need to suck it up and have more confidence in myself and just go do those things and convince myself that people want to meet and talk to me. I think I'm cool. I have fun watching movies with me, eating dinner with me, etc, lol. I'd like to think someone else would too.
Also- I've been thinking about politics and what I'm doing with my life and politics. There are a lot of things that I really care about politically and socially that I don't know how to put into words and/or don't know what to do about them. Here's the brief history of my political agendas:
age 0-11: I started to learn what psychology was. I was really into different religion. Major spiritual questioning that brought me to what I basically believe now.
age 12-17: It started with the idea of never having to associate with men again- later to realize that I was a basically a lesbian separatist. Age 12-14 I had one of two male acquaintances, nothing more. I had a couple almost girl friends and basically everyone at school accused me of being a lesbian and I didn't deny it. After that I shaved my head a couple times, got into more punk/andro clothing. I was VP, one of the founders, and PR for the gay straight alliance of my high school. I went to leadership conferences for lgbt youth. I worked with other high schools' GSAs. I got really into gender politics. I got really into the politics and lifestyle of bigenderness. I went to Lady Fest Out West, Pridefest, Rainbow Alley, and other feminist/LGBT concerts, rallies, festivals, clubs, etc.
Age 17-20: I realized that I liked men a lot, lol. I came to except that fact. I also started working for and with men at work. I started making male friends, had some boyfriends. I realized that men are really cool too. I was VP of the GSA at college until it became too incredibly stressful. I started questioning if I wanted to dedicate so much of my time to that cause, especially with the circumstances of the clubs state. Especially after having mostly male friends and being so involved with my boyfriends and not being attracted to very many females at all I wondered if I wanted to continue my intense involvement with LGBT politics. So, I thought about what I cared about the most. I realized that feminism is definitely one of the top things. So, I started the feminist club. That was somewhat frustrating and I've been mostly set on not having it this year.

I was thinking though about trying to just make the club better. I can work on it all this summer and learn from what did and didn’t work next year. This is what I’ll be doing for many of my jobs in the future probably and I need to get use to disappointments and having to adjust and adapt things to make them work. I thought about the ways that I want to add things that aren’t traditionally considered feminist into the club. I tip toed around touchy subjects last year because I didn’t want to frighten anyone off. I think that’s crap though! They should be open-minded feminists- like they claim they are! I still don’t want to take a clear stand on abortion in the club- but lesbian rights is a freaking women’s issue! So are men’s issues. We shouldn’t ignore those. I thought about bringing up issues of poverty, media, humanitarianism, and other social movements up- but I wasn’t sure about the appropriateness of blending those things are. I thought about starting another club separate from the feminist club. I don’t know what it would be or what it would be about though. I decided to think about the things that I’ve cared about the most lately to see if that would give me a clue about where I want to take it. I went to the library a while back to get some feminist books, but I realized that I only came back with one book that had any relevance to women’s issues. The books I got had major themes. They were about- capitalism, advertisings effect of society/psychology, the effect technology is having on society, biotechnology, the effects of mass media, the structures and systems in American societies that don’t make sense, humanization, poverty, and comparative religions. I don’t know what kind of club I could make that incorporates those things in a way that can be productive and in a way that I can be helpful. I really don’t know if I know very much about those things and I absolutely don’t practice what I read or think about. How beautiful of a place to experiment with organizing people together than a college though! I don’t know when I’ll have a chance like this again to organize that many different people, with such great venues, and to be able to do so with relative ease. It’s so easy to start a club (once you know what you want to start and have done the work to make it successful). I know some places downtown where I can maybe get some info on this kind of thing and a few people to email and talk to. I can do some more research and dedicate my enormous amounts of free time to this. I was wanting a more fulfilling job than cutting pizzas, I think researching important issues in order to make them into a working club to organize people in would be a good cause. I’ll let you all know where I decide to take the clubs once I get more ideas. Finally, I feel like I’m actually doing something more useful this summer! I’ve been moping around feeling bad about myself and bored. I need some way to find myself and figure out how to be apart of things that mean a lot to me, even if that means creating those venues myself.
Thank you for reading to my very long rant. I feel a lot better now that I put all that to words. I hope it wasn’t too cheesy!

Ani Difranco rocks! She gets cooler all the time. Check out one of the lastest things she's done: http://righteousbabe.com/ani/burma/gallery/SA32.asp
Feminist, singer, song writer, musician, activist in so many ways, genius, incredibly sexy, inspirational, and extremely cool!