My vacation is going better. I went to stay at my friend Chris' place. He lives in a beautiful apartment dowtown. His dad's out of town, so he and I decided to pretend to be a married couple living in our fantastic apartment. It was fun. He and I walked around downtown a lot, went to coffee shops, ate out, and saw Christmas lights. Chris is a cool kid. His eye was hurting one day and I got to take care of him. I was sick the last day and he took care of me. He cooked for me, but we found out after hours of cooking that the fish was expired. It really was like we were married, lol.

What I got for Christmas-
1. Mini digital camera on a keychain
2. candy
3. Dvds- Meet Joe Black, Scrubs season 1, Mona Lisa Smiles, Raising Hellen, Spanglish
4. Money and gift cards

AHHH! My parent's are so freaking annoying! I really hate that! I want to leave now! I've only been in town for 4 hours though and I've only been home for 3 hours. I think that's enough, lol. They've nearly made me cry four time already, and it's just a matter of time until I actually start crying. I want to leave right now. If it weren't so cold, I'd live in my car! I was so excited to be in Denver, use my stuff here, be at the libraries, go downtown, etc. I'm hoping I can get out enough and ignore my parents enough to make it worth it. Their whole world revolved around the television screen. They don't seem to have many other friends. My dad works and my mom shops. That's what they do. It's sad really. You can't think outside their tiny box or you are going to be passive-aggressively shot down until you're crying and don't know why you feel so bad about yourself. I would be happy to spend all day at my old restaurant, working or not. The library is too quiet sometimes. I could maybe find a cafe to sit and read in all day. I can see why I get so many headaches and pannic attacks here. It's not a healthy place.

Finals week is going well. I seem to be on track with my insane amount of homework without getting too stressed. I still have time to hang out with my friends too. I was feeling sick around Thanksgiving, then got sick with a horrible cold after that. I'm feeling better now though.
I hung out with this one boy I like for about 14 hours before we fell asleep yesterday. We talked about how we're both shy about flirting in general which was cute. We talked about other things that hinted that we might like each other. We also found out that we have tons of things in common. I asked him to stay the night again. We cuddled more this time than last time (before it was just sleeping and not cuddling or kissing). I cuddled up to him and rubbed his back and he made the move to kiss me. :-) I've been hoping for that to happen for a while now. I was hoping it would be romantic, which it ended up being kind of romantic and sweet. We made out for a while before falling asleep. It was really nice. I'm not entirely sure where it's going between us, but it's looking like a good situation so far.

I decided to not have cuddle buddies because that might be bad since I'm actually maybe wanting to date. I also don't want to hurt them or get hurt. I didn't know how to tell the guy who said he liked me that I don't even want to be cuddle buddies with him anymore, but since he had sex with some random girls and has been weird and distant ever since he said he liked me, I'm thinking I don't really need to. I also found out some major new issues with the guys I liked. Logically, they should be totally off my crush list. I decided to really go after one guy at a time. To look around and be open to getting to know other guys, but also only seriously flirt with the one boy. If it doesn't work out, then keep getting to know the other guys and see if there's a guy I want to really go after next. Still, part of me just wants to make out with random guys and just hope I don't get to attached to them and try as hard as I can to not want anything deeper than that. I don't think that's going to work though. I was starting to like the jerk cuddle buddy. Any time I start to feel any kind of loneliness or any sort of crush on someone or desire to date/have a relationship, I try to figure out what is missing in what I can do for myself to make myself completely happy alone. I think it's a good skill to have if it's possible, but it does make me sad to try so hard to not want love and affection.