Ahhh! I was feeling all sad and lonely last night and bitter and angry, mostly bitter and sad though. I slept in this morning, made some oatmeal, watched tv, made a burrito, read outside, did stuff on the computer, made myself some veggies and noodles for dinner. Basically it was a boring day and I was just waiting for the night to come. The cute guy never called me (I'm pretty sure now that he won't be calling me again. :-( My friends who had made hypothetical plans for tonight didn't call me, so I decided to see what my friend in Boulder was doing. He wanted me to go there and we could have our first date. But then he decided that he was too tired to hang out. This is the guy that told me I wasn't crazy enough because I had to wake up early the next day! I respect the fact that he's sleepy, he should respect the fact that I'm busy 2 days out of the week! I was mad about him not being understanding especially after I thought about the fact that it is easy to tell someone it's ok and not make them feel bad about it. I really wanted to go out, see people. I was all ready to go before he said he was tired. I've been lonely, pissed off, and sad lately- but I still was still respectful of his needs/wants. I'm not going to take it out on him or try to manipulate him. This is starting to piss me off. I'm tired of people constantly cancelling dates with me. They act like they want to see me, but then they don't actually take the time to see me, then when I'm busy- they have a hissy fit about it! The guy from last week talked to me today and wanted me to go swimming with him- so apparently he still wants to see me. (which I didn't want to, because he's being creepy and I don't want to get stood up again and I'm not going to be half naked with a guy I barely know). I'm getting tired of being bored. If I'm going to be bored, lonely, and angry- I should put that energy into more constructive avenues than laying in bed listening to pissed off music when I'm trying to sleep. I don't want to sound totally pissed about everything. I was having an ok day today. I was just feeling lonely and decided to put aside my bitterness and lack of trust in people to actually be able to see someone. It was just a very sad way for it to end. I decide to put myself out there in a tiny way, to be stood up again. I've had five guys interested in dating me in the last 3 months, and they have all stood me up more than once! I told myself to not give up on dating this summer, like I did last summer and most of last year, but really, this is getting depressing.