I told my cool Grandma that I would go to church with her today. My cousins and aunt go there too. My cousins (5 and 7 years old) got to prepare a small show and tell for the congregation. It was cute. My aunt said that she always gets nervous when they give her children microphones, lol. They do tend to blurt out things. My grandma called me at 9am to make sure I was up because she really wanted me to come. I thought it was sweet. She asked if I wanted to go to the grocery store too. I told her sure. She bought me a plant (which was cheap). Then she made me lunch. Then insisted that I took home all of the left overs, including an intire bag of chips. I kept trying to say that I had to leave, but she kept talking about somthing new. I finnally had to sneak out before she tried to feed me again, lol. I was over there from 10:30-4:30. I love seeing my Grandparents (on that side of the family), but I feel really guilty when the buy me things or make me things or try to feed me so much. I know that if I go there any time of the day, she will try to feed me. And if your there for lunch, you'll probably end up staying for dinner too, some how. My aunt also invited me to have dinner with them on Friday and also has found a guy she thinks would be a good boyfriend for me, lol. My little cousin tried to give me beads from his pocket (he also shared them with random people he met at church too, lol). They all are so cool. I don't know if I like that church as much as I might like the unitarian church, but it's nice to be able to see everyone more.

Friday was awesome! I only had one class and I found out that it was cancelled. I also got to talk to the cute boy in that class. I think I was overly perky talking to him, hopefully he doesn't think I'm weird, lol. I got a lot of things done around the school, ate lunch, played the Sims, and watched tv. Then Tara and I went to a party with some of her friends. I didn't drink, but it was still a fun party. I knew a few people there and met a few others. There were a lot of people I didn't know (which is a good thing). The night was wrapped up nicely by watching some boys streak. Tara and I went to Farv's house, since he called us earlier that day. We watched half of Troy (good movie), then we went back to the dorms around 3am.

Saturday was a good day too. I slept in late, I saw Sean, Jefferson, Zefer, and Big D at lunch. Tara and I went out to eat for dinner. I went to a comedian (who as ok). Then I played Sims and did homework. I got a lot done. I was a little stressed out about how much home work I had, so it was good I stayed in on Saturday.

My classes seem pretty good. I had to switch into a better math class (with a better teacher). It's not my strongest class, so I knew that I shouldn't take a really bad teacher. I really like the rest of my classes. It's going to be A LOT of writing, but I need to get use to that. I guess I'm just getting into more upper-division level classes.
So, I've been totally moody and/or depressed for a year now. I got on birth control pills around that time. Then I would cry for no reason (even when I was happy) and I'd get nauseous every time I ate. I knew that it was the pills. That lasted for over 4 months. Then I was moody and everything was upsetting. I realized at one point that I was still being affected by the pills. I finally changed brands a week ago. It's so awesome! I've been so happy! I've only cried when something was truly upsetting and I haven't been nauseous! I've been able to sleep better, I've been less stressed, I haven't gotten as upset about even big things as I use to. I still have the same issues, with more stress, so it's not just an emotional or environment change. It was a noticeable change when I switched! I can't believe the pills would bring me down that much! I wonder how I would have dealt with things in my life last year if I hadn't been so moody. I would have still been upset by things, but maybe I could have handled it better if I wasn't on those pills. I don't know. It was pretty stressful last year. I probably shouldn't have been that upset this year though. It helped me realize that things needed to change, but I can still do that without being so depressed and moody.

Thursday:
I drove here early so I could hang out with Tara before everyone else got here. We ate dinner and ice cream, visited Farva, went a club, and played Scattegories. It was fun. I'm really glad that I came back early.


Friday:
I unpacked my stuff and talked to some of my friends that were back. I found some awesome library books (mostly social psychology). I went to bed early (esp. for a Friday).

Saturday:
I got tons of stuff done (bought books, club work, etc). Then I talked to one of my friends who I hadn't talked to in a long time. (I dumped him a month or so ago and he avoided me for a while). Tara, Big D, Matt, and I went to Farva's house for a party. We watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. I had been wanting to see that movie. Matt was getting on people's nerves but other than that it was fun. I didn't drink or smoke so I was the DD. I got mad that Matt smoked in my car when I told him not to. I don't think I'll let him in my car anymore (I don't see him very much anyway). He never listens when you tell him to stop doing somthing. I had to push him off the couch because he was hurting my legs and wouldn't get up. I told him I would punch him if he ever bit me again... and he did... and I had to punch him. He kept insulting Farv. I don't think people take him seriously very often, but it still obviously bothered Farv. Overall I'd say it was still a good night though.

I went to see the movie White Noise. I was interested in the movie and my friend Keli really wanted to see it, so I went along. It was a sad movie that was kind of boring and poorly written. It wasn't that disturbing really, it just reminded me of other disturbing movies I've seen. It reminded me of why I don't like scary movies. I'm trying to figure out what exactly disturbs me the most about those movies so I can understand and explain to people why I like some scary movies but not others. I also want to know why other people like scary movies (like the psychology of why different people like certain kinds of scary and disturbing movies). I like scary movies that make me scared for a while but has a clear ending that makes you feel better and wont scare you when you leave the theatre. I also like movies that are completely not disturbing or violent in any way. My two favorite scary movies are Signs and The Village. I probably sound like a wuss but I really don't want or need bad images in my mind. I'm already paranoid and untrusting enough, scary movies just make it worse for me.

I had a strange dream last night. It started out with me and Chris dating. He and I were walking arm in arm around the dorms. Then I went to my room alone and found Sean laying on my bed. He was being extremely sweet and nice. Then he started making out with me. I started to get really happy about that, then he decided that he really didn't like me and shoved me off the bed. I looked up at the door and saw Chris watching us. He broke up with me and went back to his ex-girl friend. Then I was on the show Elimidate. The guy was really stupid and most the girls were really bad too. So I decided to talk to one of the girls. She started to cuddle and make out with me. I figured she was just doing it for attention, but I was too, so I didn't care. Then I found out that it was just a fantasy and I was cuddling with my pillow and not a real person. Then I dreamed some other random things and woke up. It was kind of a depressing dream. My dreams have stopped being broad metaphors and have been getting right to the point with what I'm thinking.

I got my hair cut on Wed. Just shoulder length, nothing too dramatic.

Thursday I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. I'm getting a night guard so I don't grind my teeth so much. I've actually chipped my teeth in the night. I've had 4 dentist appointments this week, but at least I'll have the guard before break is over.

I watched a couple chick flick, romantic comedies the last couple days. I've realized that I like them while I'm watching them, but then they make me really depressed. They don't make me lonely neccessarily, but who knows what all I'm thinking. I think I'll try to find some non-violent, not too disturbing horror films (if anyone has any suggestions that would be awesome!).

I hung out with Keli on New Year's eve. It was kind of boring but that's ok. We watched the Terminal. That movie has so much blatant advertising that it kind of ruined it. It also had major flaws in common sense things, laws, and story line. But it was kind of cute. Overall I would say that it's worth watching if you can get it for free, but if you have to pay, then there are a lot of better movies to rent.

I rented a whole bunch of Globe Trekker dvd's from the library. I love that show! I got the one where they go to Indonesia and a China one. (they're pretty much travel guide shows). I love the Vietnam episode too.

I hung out with Kaylan last night. We were going to go to a movie and a coffee house, but we decided to get ice cream, tea, and drive around. It was fun. We saw a cool car with tinted windows. We kept looking at the car and she told me to flirt with the guy driving it. I got embarrassed and told her I didn't want to. He rolled down his window and blew us a kiss! It was hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing. I hope he didn't take that the wrong way, lol.

Today is so snowy! I tried to go to the library, but the new snow froze immediately to my windshield. The defrost wasn't working well enough and I couldn't see, so I had to go home before I got there. Oh well.