So, I had an interesting night. Three cute guys I know invited me to a party in the desert. I seriously considered but for some reason decided to go to my previously planned party. I had just recently met the one boy and I have a crush on him. He kept hugging me and touching my back. It was very amusing. I totally wanted to go to the desert and make out with him, lol. I resisted thinking that that might not be the best idea, especially since he's dating a sort of friend of mine.
So, then I went to the usual party at Joel's house. I burnt my eyebrows with a lighter on accident! Now I have blonde looking hairs on the top part of one of my eyebrows, lol. Then I ended up making out with the girl Joel has a crush on, lol. It was interesting. I don't think I'm attracted to her, then I got to thinking about it and I wasn't even sure I'm that attracted to very many girls at all. I think I'm still bi, lol. I've liked women and I can still think of some women I like. The whole time I was making out with her (both times, lol) I was thinking about how I felt when I was kissing guys and wishing I was kissing a guy. I wan't really into french kissing her and I didn't know where to touch her or how. (so it was really more just kissing then making out). It could be that I just don't like her, I mean, I was thinking about laundry the whole time I kissed Garet, lol. mmm laundry. She told me I could experiment with her if I want to. I really don't know if it's her or women in general (I know I'm repeating, I'm just really confused). I think I'd like to fool around with a woman sometime, but I don't think I'd want to experiment with her in perticular. It's been a long time since I've kissed a guy too and I don't know if I've just been in a weird freak out mood about dating, and I wonder if it would be as intense kissing a guy as it was before. Although I think it would be. I was wanting to totally jump on that guy earlier, lol. I told the girl that I'm confused and that it's nothing personal. I think it's confusing between us, but not totally weird. I guess I'll have to wait and see how all that goes.