I was majorly craving burittos today. I was going to go out by myself to get one and watch movies tonight- to do something special even though I don't have many people here to hang out with. I decided that that made me sad to get burritos alone, so I invited my brother to meet me there (about 20minutes from both our places). I got there on time and he didn't show up! I ate alone and sat there waiting for him. After 40 minutes and my food and water was gone I left. I found him freaking out in his car. He was sweaty and his head was bobbing. He got out when he saw me and walked away. He could barely function walking, I had never seen him THAT drunk. It was ridiculous. I can't believe he drove in downtown Denver traffic when he was that gone! I can't believe he actually found the place let alone get there safely. I was so pissed at him. I've know he's an alcoholic for years now, my parents have know for months. He went to de-tox last december. I went to call my parents because I was sick of taking care of him when he's drunk and he's not being rational or safe. He got into my car when I went to call them. I started to drive him to my parent's house when I noticed that he was passed out with his eyes rolling back. I started crying. I got home and he didn't wake up. I parked my car and told my parents he was passed out in the car still. I went to my old room while they got him out and tried to talk to him. When my parents were talking he tried to run either to the basement or the garage (we aren't sure) and he fell over and puked. He got it on the walls, the washier and drier, himself, and the floor. He might have hurt himself falling down, I'm not sure. My parents got his puked on clothes off and put him in bed. My dad stayed with him to make sure he didn't roll over and drown in his own puke. My mom and I drove to get his car and pack a bag for him. I had to dig threw his puked on clothes to find his car keys. When we were at his apartment my mom and I found over 15 bottles of hard liquor hidden around his apartment. We dumped them all out and threw away the bottles. He had some as decoration and some he collected from England that meant a lot to him, so I convinced my mom to dump them but not throw them away. Which was hard because I thought the fact that he thought the alcohol bottles were something cool to collect and show off was sad. We threw out three trash bags of liquor bottles and boxes. My mom asked me for advice about what to do with him, as I drove her home. I told her everything I knew about that he lied to them about that didn't matter anymore. I felt bad for my parents and for my brother. I don't know what they are going to do, but I have a bad feeling that this time wont be any different from any other tragidy or issue to happen with the family. They don't seem to want to change anything- the way he lives his life or the way they deal with him. I don't know what I'm going to do. I already don't let him drive me anywhere, I make him pay for things upfront, I don't go anywhere with him that I can't take care of both of us at, I don't meet him anywhere I wouldn't mind being at alone, and I dont' take him to things like concerts anymore (he's passed out or spent all the cash I had on me at them or drove us home drunk, or got scary because of drinking). One time I had to escape from his apartment and steal his car to get home because he was being really scary and I was crying and scared and I couldn't get home.
When people ask me why I don't drink and think my excuses are lame- shut the f*ck up and don't talk to me until you have to dig threw your brother's puke to find his car keys, until you nearly get into trouble with the police because of the stupid drunk people you're taking care of doing stupid things, or when you've been a victim of serious crimes because of stupid a**hole alcoholics! Seriously. I feel I owe nothing to drunk people anymore. I'm not going out of my way to take care of people when they are drunk. If I'm there and they need help, that's one thing, but I'm not taking sh*t from people anymore. I'm not going to go out of my way in anyway for people so that they can get drunk. If I see my brother driving drunk ever again, I'm calling the police, I'm not kidding. He's been doing that too long. I've tried helping him, now I'm going to help the people that could possibly get hurt by him. I'm not buying alcohol for anyone when I'm 21, and I'm not driving people to parties to get drunk. If I'm at a party I will take them home, but I'm not going out of my way. I'm think it's safe to say that alcohol will be against my created religion.