Yaa for lightning, thunder, and hard rain! I love it. I want to go outside and watch it. Jefferson and I did that once, but we stayed in the car, lol. Beautiful clouds this summer.
Work was fun, the boss wasn't there today. Eric made us a bunch of extra egg roles and crab cheese wontons for us to eat. I got to work with Mike and Mike. I like them. One of the chefs were really nice today. I usually thinking and stare and am pretty serious when I'm in the kitchen waiting for the food to be cooked. The cool chef asked me if I was ok. He said that I think too much and that he was worried that I was upset. I told him that I was just bored. It meant a lot to me that he asked. It was really nice.
I found out that Mike is kind of a player and a partier. He's still really cool but I'm glad that I didn't let myself have a crush on him. We use to flirt a little but not much. I decided a while ago that I didn't even want to think about dating or anything for a while. It's been nice. I don't have to try to impress anyone. There's no pressure or disapointment. Sean's a cool guy and I'm glad that I went out with him, but I realized how much I give up hobbies, interests, time, and parts of my personality and things I want when I'm in a relationship. I've read a few books on how so many women do that. It's sad. It's not worth having a relationship if you have to give up too much and work so hard. My relationships have had other problems but I think they would have been healthier and better for me if kept my own life. I wouldn't think that a guy would want a girl to drop everything for him or be a pushover. I love it when guys are confident, smart, activists, care about causes, have interests, are really passionate about their hobbies and interests. What do guys want in a relationship? Would guys care if their gf can't hang out with them for a couple days because she's too busy with clubs and homework, but would love to hang out with him afterward? What if she doesn't want to go to dinner right then because she's busy painting? What if she expected you to put just as much effort into the relationship as she did? What if you didn't understand the things that she really cares about? I'd like to know those things but I've realized that being alone has it's bennefits and that a new relationship isn't worth it if I can't keep my life or if the guy isn't the kind of guy I really want to date. I want a guy who's ego isn't hurt if I don't drop everything for him or if I don't don't humor him or try overly hard. I don't know if the guys I dated would have been hurt if I kept more independence or whatever, I just always assumed that they would and treated them that way.