I went to the Ani Difranco concert at Red Rocks. It was really cool. I look Red Rocks. It was amazing to see the storm clouds turn into the backdrop of a pink sunset. And to watch the city lights turn on and the stars come out. The rocks are beautiful too. It's a really cool place. Ani is always awesome. I wish her music was like it use to be, but I still love her music. He crowd is becoming kind of lame. Three years ago, her crowd was mostly college, hippy, feminists. Now it's more variety, more older people, more mainstream crowd. People talked through the whole show, people didn't dance at all, and a ton of people sat through it. I danced to it along with a few other people, until some old lady asked me to sit down so they could have a better view sitting- and then they talked and made stupid comments durring the show! A lot of the people were judgemental of the "non mainstream people". But f*ck you! You're at a f*ucking Ani Difranco concert! Stand up, dance, have fun, stop talking, be respectful of other people, and enjoy the music. That's what your there for. If you don't like her music or her message (even the old message) or her crowd, then don't come! I wish that she would go back to doing more radical and upbeat songs, I wish her crowd was different. But I still love her and her music.
I brought my friend Keli to the concert. When I bought tickets for this, I just bought two, not thinking about who I was going to bring. She came to the last show with me and sat politely, was kind of freak out, but was ok as long as I acted the same way. She said she had fun last time, but I know she didn't really. I knew she'd come to this just to get out of the house, to have something to do. I felt bad that she wouldn't have fun. I decided to have fun anyway. I figure that if she says she wants to go, then I'd take her for her word. I danced a little, clapped, stood, was more relaxed. She complained the whole time, made little comments about everythings, tried fake enthusiasm only occasionally (like saying that the clouds look neat), she sat, sat completely still, seemed freak out by hippies and lesbians, embarrised by me, didn't talk, didn't clap, and wanted to leave as soon as possible. I didn't feel like talking to her either and the only way I had fun was to pretend that she wasn't there. I knew that I would freak her out even when I'm sensoring myself, so I sensored myself less- so I could at least have fun. I'm tired of sensoring myself and still freaking people out. I'm tired of people being confused everytime I don't act like a total ditz, or totally shy, or when I try to say the truth and be real- without trying to be overly polite. Keli actually told me that she had fun even though it was obvious that she didn't have any fun and after she paused a long time after I asked her if she regreted coming. I think that I'm going to have to hang out with her only when I'm in the mood to watch movies and talk about the weather. I know that I'm kind of a hypocrit in saying all of that. I know that Jefferson thinks that I'm extremely shy and that I should be more brave and go swing dancing more. But at least I'm actually a little more honest about what I'm thinking and feeling and am more willing to try more new things and am more easy going about it. I don't want people to push me out of my comfort bubble, so I won't push her out of hers. If she wants to do things other than watching movies, then I'll let her think of what she wants us to do.