So today and yesterday really sucked. My stupid, horrible grandparents are here. They got here yesterday. I tried to avoid them all day. I talked to them a little bit to be polite though. They ignored everything I said (like actually pretending like I didn't say anything). They're very self righteous and hypocritical. I hate them because of everything they put me through as a kid. I really hate them. My grandpa is really creepy too. Like actually staring at my chest and being too touchy feely. It made me sick to my stomach. I felt like I was going to throw up most the day. When it was time for work, I freak out. I knew I had to leave the house, but I really didn't want to go to work. I started having a panic attack. I called work and told them that I was sick. Then I just left. I told my parents I was going to work. I called up all my friends that I can trust in an hour radius of my house, all three of them :-( . None of them were home though, so I just drove. I started to drive as far away as possible. I was crying for a long time. I was panicking and I didn't really know what to do. Eventually my brother called me and told me that I could stay at his place for the night. My parents found out that I wasn't at work, and were pissed. Work found out that I wasn't home and thought I was faking sick. I was scared that I'd get fired but I don't know if I want to go back there. I also really didn't want to talk to my parents. I eventually came home today when I knew that it was just my dad there. I locked myself in my room when everyone got home and I didn't come out until they went out to dinner. I told my parents about the panic attack. They didn't believe me at first, then they decided to only ground me for a day (to force me to calm down. I'm in the confused, screw it, nothing really matters mood. I think too much any way. I need to not worry so much and I need to not take crap from anyone. I'm realizing how many things in life really don't matter, and how some things matter more than I ever realized before. I'm not sure what I'm thinking or what I'm going to do to feel better, yet. I need to not listen to anything my parents say and not take them seriously. My mom is doing stupid spy stuff to find out if I leave the house and what I'm doing all the time. She obviously doesn't understand anything I'm going through and is making things even harder for me. I need to rebel more and set boundaries for them. They've become way too controling, this is just ridiculous. I know way more about what's good for me than they do.