A weird thing happen today. I actually felt scared that I had a crush on a really nice guy. I know that sounds stupid, but I know a lot of girls that avoid the super nice guys. Don't get me wrong- nice boys are great. The goal though is to find a really exciting, cool, fun, nice guy. It's not fun dating someone who's a jerk, but it's broing dating the super nice guy. It isn't even really about niceness I think. It's more that the really nice guys tend to be more calm and reserved. The jerks are the one's who are more outgoing and wild. I really hope that maybe I can find a really nice fun guy. I worry that this boy I like now would be judgmental about me wanting to have fun and be a little wild. I don't know if he's the kind of boy that can be corrupted either. I don't know if I'm outgoing enough to be able to think of all the fun stuff to do or the confidence to break us both out of our shells. I wouldn't want try to change him either. Maybe I should just have fun right now and not care about dating. That's what I did last summer- without the fun though. I want to be fun and outgoing on my own first. I don't want to have to rely on a boy to show me how to have fun. I haven't been very out going this year. It's not as much fun being reserved and self conscious. There's a lot I'd like to do, and I think that I could make more happen if I just get out of the self-conscious, shy rut I'm in. At least i think I'm getting out of the everyone sucks phase.